---
title: "\"I Like That I Stand Out\""
description: What a teen knows about alopecia’s upside. A 15-year-old freshman who has been living with alopecia for years tells us her perspective.
image: https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/hubfs/becky-carpenter-feature-300.png
---

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**Alopecia Areata Support Network**

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# Women With Alopecia Areata Support Network Blog

## ["I Like That I Stand Out"](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/i-like-that-i-stand-out)

Posted by [Thea Chassin](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/author/thea-chassin)

 February 11, 2020 at 12:10 PM

- [Tweet](https://twitter.com/share)

![My advice to other bald girls? Make the best of what you have. I do what makes sense to me. I like that I stand out.](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/hs-fs/hubfs/becky-carpenter-feature.png?width=597&name=becky-carpenter-feature.png)

### *What a teen knows about alopecia's upside.*

### At any age, Becky’s wisdom would be uncommon. That she’s a 15-year-old high school freshman who has been living with alopecia since age 9 makes her perspective exceptionally inspiring.

We first met Rebekah Carpenter, from Albuquerque, New Mexico, when she was newly diagnosed with alopecia areata as a third grader, just nine years old. Today, she’s a self-possessed teenager and an athlete with big plans for the future.

## Becky talked with us about the pros and cons of life with alopecia, and about her strategies for everything from dating to job hunting.

**BGDL: What did your hair look like?**  
Becky: I always wanted long hair. Mine was brown with a few blonde streaks, just a little longer than a bob, not quite to my shoulders. It was thick and wavy.

**BGDL: It sounds lovely. How did you find out about your alopecia?**  
Becky: It was kinda funny. I got gum in my hair, and my grandmother’s assistant cut it out. She saw the patches. I thought it was from where she had cut it!

**BGDL: Once your doctor confirmed it was alopecia areata what did you do?**  
Becky: I come from a big family. There are six of us; I’m number four. One of my sisters tried to hide it with cool braids or by curling my hair.

**BGDL: What made you decide to [shave it all off](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/real-talk-for-women-with-alopecia-should-i-shave-my-head)?**  
Becky: I was on swim team. When I’d take my swim cap off, clumps and clumps of hair came off over the sink. It was just easier to let it go.

**BGDL: That’s both brave and bold. Did you feel vulnerable?**  
Becky: At the beginning, when I was insecure, I had so much support, it was like a wall around me.

**BGDL: You’re talking about your family?**  
Becky: Yes. Whenever something is happening, like planning a vacation, [my mom](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/i-take-my-lead-from-becky)does a bunch of research. She knew everything about alopecia areata and alopecia universalis! One of my sisters likes having short hair, and she offered to cut hers and make me a wig. I told her not to; I’m just made this way. My brothers said to make sure I told them if anyone tries to bully me. One brother is younger than me, so it made me laugh. It was so adorable.

**![I wear a ball cap during games. If it falls off, I just started laughing.](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/hs-fs/hubfs/Becky_Feb_2020.jpg?width=300&name=Becky_Feb_2020.jpg)BGDL: What about at school?**  
Becky: I wasn’t keeping any secrets. I didn’t really want to hide it. The only part that bugged me was having to explain alopecia over and over again.

**BGDL: The association between bald heads and chemo is strong.**   
Becky: But their concern was really nice. One of my sisters helped me put together a PowerPoint so we could explain it.

**BGDL: That’s smart. You spend 2.5 hours a day practicing basketball. Your teammates know about your alopecia. But what about girls from other teams?**  
Becky: I wear a ball cap during games. If it falls off, I just started laughing. But I am really competitive. I noticed that girls would apologize if they accidentally pushed me and say, ‘I’m so sorry if I hurt you.’ They were almost timid. I want to play professionally—I don’t want deferential treatment.

**BGDL: That’s an interesting observation. Now that you’re a teenager, do you worry about how boys might react to a bald girl?**   
RC: If a guy doesn’t like you for who are, they need to change. I’m not going to be self- conscious. If they really like me, it shouldn’t matter to them. I don’t want to be mean to guys, but they can be stupid or silly.

**BGDL: You’re not wrong! Do you know any other girls in Albuquerque with alopecia?**  
RC: In fifth grade, a girl \[with alopecia\] transferred to my school. She’s still in my class; we talk all the time. I told her the story of being out to dinner at Chili’s for one of my sibling’s birthdays. Someone thought I had cancer and paid for our entire meal! She told me about a time she was on a plane and someone bought her lunch.

**BGDL: An alopecia upside!**  
RC: I guess it’s nice I don’t have to shave under my arms.

**BGDL: No kidding! Sounds like fate that you met.**  
RC: It’s amazing, like God wanted me to meet her. It can’t be a coincidence.

**BGDL: We admire your style and how much fun you have with different looks and fashion. As a 5’11” bald girl, you are always going to stand out. What’s your go-to look?**  
RC: I wear a long blonde ponytail. Not bleach blonde, but kind of hazel.

**BGDL: When you were in grade school, did you wear wigs?**   
RC: I didn’t in fourth through sixth grades. But I have one wig that’s purple, teal, and green that I sometimes wear to the mall. It’s fun to dress up like a little kid. We’re kind of a family of nerds. My older sibling recently took me to Comic-Con and we dressed up as the characters from Legend of Zelda, the video game.

**BGDL: Are you grateful in any way for alopecia?**  
RC: I always used to blend in with my family. Teachers would mistake me for my older sisters because we looked alike. I like that I stand out. Also, I didn’t used to like simply reading aloud in class. Now I have more courage. So much doesn’t matter.

**BGDL: You’re very articulate. Maybe your career will harness that gift.**  
RC: If I can’t become a professional basketball player, I want to study political science, maybe get into city planning or managing. Or maybe become a lawyer or an electrical engineer.

**BGDL: Those careers all have one thing in common: strategic thinking. That’s something you are doing so well in dealing with alopecia.**   
RC: I’ve been thinking about how I want to present myself when I go for a job interview. I would definitely tell them I have alopecia. I don’t have cancer, I won’t be missing work. When I’m insecure, mom talks to me about things on the plus side. Like, if they see 200 people, they’re always going to remember me.

**BDGL: What’s your advice to adults when dealing with girls who have alopecia?**  
RC: First, be really supportive. Teach them they shouldn’t care about what others think; don’t judge them. Don’t make them wear a wig—or tell them not to wear a wig. It will make them insecure. If you’re a teacher, keep an eye out just in case. Teachers don’t see everything in the classroom or on the playground.

**BGDL: What’s your advice to other bald girls?**  
RC: Make the best of what you have. I used washable markers to draw a cool design and color my head. Sometimes I wear hair. I do what makes sense for me.

**BGDL: You’re so upbeat, it’s a testament to your strength. Do you remember feeling hopeless?**   
RC: I remember asking myself, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ But God does things for a reason, even if I can’t see the purpose right now. Maybe I will grow up and be a role model. Maybe I needed a lesson in confidence. Maybe it was to get a free meal at Chili’s!

*For more information on supporting women and teens with alopecia areata, visit* [*www.baldgirlsdolunch.org*](http://www.baldgirlsdolunch.org) *or email* [*thea@baldgirlsdolunch.org*](mailto:thea@baldgirlsdolunch.org)*.*

 Topics: [coping with alopecia](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/topic/coping-with-alopecia), [women living with alopecia](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/topic/women-living-with-alopecia), [stories of women with alopecia](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/topic/stories-of-women-with-alopecia), [talking about alopecia](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/topic/talking-about-alopecia), [alopecia awareness](https://blog.baldgirlsdolunch.org/topic/alopecia-awareness)

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