We first met Rebekah Carpenter, from Albuquerque, New Mexico, when she was newly diagnosed with alopecia areata as a third grader, just nine years old. Today, she’s a self-possessed teenager and an athlete with big plans for the future.
BGDL: What did your hair look like?
Becky: I always wanted long hair. Mine was brown with a few blonde streaks, just a little longer than a bob, not quite to my shoulders. It was thick and wavy.
BGDL: It sounds lovely. How did you find out about your alopecia?
Becky: It was kinda funny. I got gum in my hair, and my grandmother’s assistant cut it out. She saw the patches. I thought it was from where she had cut it!
BGDL: Once your doctor confirmed it was alopecia areata what did you do?
Becky: I come from a big family. There are six of us; I’m number four. One of my sisters tried to hide it with cool braids or by curling my hair.
BGDL: What made you decide to shave it all off?
Becky: I was on swim team. When I’d take my swim cap off, clumps and clumps of hair came off over the sink. It was just easier to let it go.
BGDL: That’s both brave and bold. Did you feel vulnerable?
Becky: At the beginning, when I was insecure, I had so much support, it was like a wall around me.
BGDL: You’re talking about your family?
Becky: Yes. Whenever something is happening, like planning a vacation, my mom does a bunch of research. She knew everything about alopecia areata and alopecia universalis! One of my sisters likes having short hair, and she offered to cut hers and make me a wig. I told her not to; I’m just made this way. My brothers said to make sure I told them if anyone tries to bully me. One brother is younger than me, so it made me laugh. It was so adorable.
Becky: I wasn’t keeping any secrets. I didn’t really want to hide it. The only part that bugged me was having to explain alopecia over and over again.
BGDL: The association between bald heads and chemo is strong.
Becky: But their concern was really nice. One of my sisters helped me put together a PowerPoint so we could explain it.
BGDL: That’s smart. You spend 2.5 hours a day practicing basketball. Your teammates know about your alopecia. But what about girls from other teams?
Becky: I wear a ball cap during games. If it falls off, I just started laughing. But I am really competitive. I noticed that girls would apologize if they accidentally pushed me and say, ‘I’m so sorry if I hurt you.’ They were almost timid. I want to play professionally—I don’t want deferential treatment.
BGDL: That’s an interesting observation. Now that you’re a teenager, do you worry about how boys might react to a bald girl?
RC: If a guy doesn’t like you for who are, they need to change. I’m not going to be self- conscious. If they really like me, it shouldn’t matter to them. I don’t want to be mean to guys, but they can be stupid or silly.
BGDL: You’re not wrong! Do you know any other girls in Albuquerque with alopecia?
RC: In fifth grade, a girl [with alopecia] transferred to my school. She’s still in my class; we talk all the time. I told her the story of being out to dinner at Chili’s for one of my sibling’s birthdays. Someone thought I had cancer and paid for our entire meal! She told me about a time she was on a plane and someone bought her lunch.
BGDL: An alopecia upside!
RC: I guess it’s nice I don’t have to shave under my arms.
BGDL: No kidding! Sounds like fate that you met.
RC: It’s amazing, like God wanted me to meet her. It can’t be a coincidence.
BGDL: We admire your style and how much fun you have with different looks and fashion. As a 5’11” bald girl, you are always going to stand out. What’s your go-to look?
RC: I wear a long blonde ponytail. Not bleach blonde, but kind of hazel.
BGDL: When you were in grade school, did you wear wigs?
RC: I didn’t in fourth through sixth grades. But I have one wig that’s purple, teal, and green that I sometimes wear to the mall. It’s fun to dress up like a little kid. We’re kind of a family of nerds. My older sibling recently took me to Comic-Con and we dressed up as the characters from Legend of Zelda, the video game.
BGDL: Are you grateful in any way for alopecia?
RC: I always used to blend in with my family. Teachers would mistake me for my older sisters because we looked alike. I like that I stand out. Also, I didn’t used to like simply reading aloud in class. Now I have more courage. So much doesn’t matter.
BGDL: You’re very articulate. Maybe your career will harness that gift.
RC: If I can’t become a professional basketball player, I want to study political science, maybe get into city planning or managing. Or maybe become a lawyer or an electrical engineer.
BGDL: Those careers all have one thing in common: strategic thinking. That’s something you are doing so well in dealing with alopecia.
RC: I’ve been thinking about how I want to present myself when I go for a job interview. I would definitely tell them I have alopecia. I don’t have cancer, I won’t be missing work. When I’m insecure, mom talks to me about things on the plus side. Like, if they see 200 people, they’re always going to remember me.
BDGL: What’s your advice to adults when dealing with girls who have alopecia?
RC: First, be really supportive. Teach them they shouldn’t care about what others think; don’t judge them. Don’t make them wear a wig—or tell them not to wear a wig. It will make them insecure. If you’re a teacher, keep an eye out just in case. Teachers don’t see everything in the classroom or on the playground.
BGDL: What’s your advice to other bald girls?
RC: Make the best of what you have. I used washable markers to draw a cool design and color my head. Sometimes I wear hair. I do what makes sense for me.
BGDL: You’re so upbeat, it’s a testament to your strength. Do you remember feeling hopeless?
RC: I remember asking myself, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ But God does things for a reason, even if I can’t see the purpose right now. Maybe I will grow up and be a role model. Maybe I needed a lesson in confidence. Maybe it was to get a free meal at Chili’s!
For more information on supporting women and teens with alopecia areata, visit www.baldgirlsdolunch.org or email thea@baldgirlsdolunch.org.